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i’d allowed myself to be lulled into complacency, ignorance, acceptance. i was spoiled. for over a month i have not had to deal with any government agency (other than the ministry of health) directly for any kind of service. then, today i was thrown back into the deep end. today i had to apply for my work permit - without one i cannot legally stay in uganda, so i knew i had to bite the bullet. my accountant/field administrator/go-to-guy (michael) has been working on my work permit for over a month now. finally, after 10 trips to immigration by him, multiple application forms completed and documents gathered by me, we thought we had everything we needed. little did we know. what was missing? my criminal record. that’s right, my criminal record.

my day then became the following: immigration office to NGO board to u.s. embassy to office to u.s. embassy to NGO board to photocopier to NGO board to immigration office. a 30-minute process turned into a 5+ hour wild goose chase all over kampala.

an application for a work permit requires any number of things, including: 2 passport-sized photos (of course!), CV, academic qualifications, appointment letter, income tax clearance, annual report, audits, proof of failure to employ a ugandan…oh yeah, and a criminal record. but, the most mundane requirement is a file folder. yep, you have to supply your own file folder so the immigration office can file your application. not surprisingly a little cottage industry has developed right outside the immigration offices selling file folders. women sitting on mats on the ground selling stacks and stacks of file folders.

we get our file folder, but still no criminal record. how do you get a criminal record in uganda? simple. you write up a statement on company letterhead that says “i, (insert your name), swear under oath that i have no criminal record.” then the consul at the u.s. embassy puts you under oath (contrary to the movies there is no bible), watches you sign the document, and attaches a cover sheet notarizing the statement with the seal of the u.s. embassy. no looking up of a record, no nothing, they just take you on your good word. of course it has to be stamped…uganda is really big on stamps.

criminal record in hand, we naively return thinking we’ve done it all when we’re blindsided by the assistant secretary to the NGO board, who had randomly sent us off to get the criminal record in the first place.

her: i need photocopies of all these documents for my files.
me: why didn’t you tell us that when we were here before?
her: i am telling you now.
me: but, if you’d told us before, we could’ve come with the photocopies already.
her: hmm…well… how did you know you’d have the right documents? i couldn’t tell you before.
me: but, you saw all the documents we had and you said they were all fine except the one we were missing. so you could’ve told us before.
her: well, i am telling you now.

ooohhh, i was irked. but what could we do but go photocopy? lucky for us there was a photocopy machine close by that had paper and power. the power is key ‘cos (1) photocopiers need power (duh), and (2) there’s hardly ever power. so, we got uber lucky. granted the photocopier only copied one page at a time (and we had something like 50 pages of documents), but at least it copied.

finally, we have it all. they accept the documents, they will work on my permit, they’ll get back to and then…the real kicker…the immigration office keeps my passport. blech.

a dutch friend commiserated with me tonight, saying “opening a bank account, buying a car, getting a TIN (personal tax ID), getting a work permit, paying taxes.” my list exactly. multiple hoops to jump through, lots of waiting, and overkill on the documentation. beware of doing government business in uganda.

i don’t mean to whine or to sound bitter, but i really did start to question people’s motivations today. what is the point if when we finally get and do everything we’re told, you simply toss the file aside without looking at it while saying “fine, come back in a week.” michael decided that it was worker dissatisfaction. i might agree with him. where is the motivation, where is the supervision to keep these workers going enthusiastically when they’re holed up in cement offices with cracking paint, broken wooden desks, missing filing cabinets, no electricity? all they do all day is stamp, stamp, stamp and deal with disgruntled customers. the government top to bottom is plagued by lack of funds, corruption, and nepotism. what is this one worker going to do to change that?
101paige 101africa
the bright spot of the day is that michael got to go to america. yep, he stepped on u.s. soil at the embassy. i said “welcome to america,” and he asked “is this what america looks like?”